Connectedness...

April 2006 is a month I’ll never forget for many reasons. I both love and hate that month. It is when I attended an Art of Hosting seminar, a seminar where we learned how to host meaningful conversations, and how that connects to leadership. Whatever it was that happened during those 4 days, it was a profound experience that up to today I still can’t exactly put in words.

I’ve noticed that ever since I came back, my thoughts have been changing rapidly; new views are emerging day by day, and my personality with it. What I’ve been able to take out of that seminar, I’m thankful for every day. I’ve seen how Art of Hosting can profoundly impact our daily lives, what harvest it can yield. The way I see things, the way I value synchronicity in life, and what I know that I want to do, or maybe supposed to do, I could not be more grateful for that.

After I came back from AoH, I started to read a lot of books that were recommended and ever since it’s been like a constant string of synchronistic events following up on each other. Recently though, I’ve noticed that my thoughts are emerging faster than I’m able to carry into my environment. Every day, my mind is processing new information and I’m barely able to keep up. I have a feeling with all that is emerging in my mind, I’m not ready to be in Germany, working for AIESEC, and AIESEC Germany is not ready for me. Too often I end up in discussions because of lack of mental connectedness. My mind is moving faster than the environment around me, and I have a feeling somebody put me on cruise control not being able to turn it off.

What to do, I feel I’m not getting connected here in Germany because it seems we’re moving in parallel worlds. It’s like when Ghandi said, “India is not ready for me.” Though, I don’t know whether Germany is not ready for me, or I’m not ready for Germany. Maybe I’m missing something; maybe I’m lacking the ability to put the synchronicity into a mental model that makes sense for my environment and for me.

Somebody, anybody help…