The dance between chaos and order...

NaLDS faci assignment #1...

2007-10-02T21:57:00.000+02:00

NaLDS faci assignment #2...

2007-09-24T19:15:00.000+02:00

NaLDS intro Kevin...

2007-09-24T17:08:00.001+02:00

Synchronicity...

2007-08-13T04:10:00.000+02:00

Today I finished an amazing book; Synchronicity by Joseph Jaworski. Reading through his book has been a profound self discovery experience that no other book has been able to offer. Each page is most beautifully written, such that it gave me a feeling as if I was there with each event. Synchronicity according to C. Jung is “a meaningful coincidence of two or more events, where something other than the probability of choice is involved.” In those moments, it seems as though invisible hands are helping us. Some people might refer to this as luck or faith; I do believe it is part of a subtle leadership sphere where predictable miracles can actually occur when we create the conditions for that.

One sentence perfectly captures the beauty of this book: “when we start to accept this fundamental shift of mind, we begin to see ourselves as part of the unfolding. We also see that it’s actually impossible for our lives not to have meaning.” Once we are able to cross that threshold and allow this shift of mind, we can experience synchronicity.

We will not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

~ T.S. Elliot, Four Quartets

Isn’t that beautiful, I’ve realised through the course of this book that I’m arriving again at places where I started, but this time it is another place. This rediscovery of all that I left, and am left with is more profound than any other experience. This exploration operates at a higher level, a level that is more profound in the sense of being in the flow of things. I’m now getting in the flow of things. Though, I still need to discover how that fits into the situations I’m faced with here in my new home.

If you are interested in leadership, I can only recommend you to read this book and see how synchronicity is operating in your life…

Connectedness...

2007-08-13T03:43:00.000+02:00

April 2006 is a month I’ll never forget for many reasons. I both love and hate that month. It is when I attended an Art of Hosting seminar, a seminar where we learned how to host meaningful conversations, and how that connects to leadership. Whatever it was that happened during those 4 days, it was a profound experience that up to today I still can’t exactly put in words.

I’ve noticed that ever since I came back, my thoughts have been changing rapidly; new views are emerging day by day, and my personality with it. What I’ve been able to take out of that seminar, I’m thankful for every day. I’ve seen how Art of Hosting can profoundly impact our daily lives, what harvest it can yield. The way I see things, the way I value synchronicity in life, and what I know that I want to do, or maybe supposed to do, I could not be more grateful for that.

After I came back from AoH, I started to read a lot of books that were recommended and ever since it’s been like a constant string of synchronistic events following up on each other. Recently though, I’ve noticed that my thoughts are emerging faster than I’m able to carry into my environment. Every day, my mind is processing new information and I’m barely able to keep up. I have a feeling with all that is emerging in my mind, I’m not ready to be in Germany, working for AIESEC, and AIESEC Germany is not ready for me. Too often I end up in discussions because of lack of mental connectedness. My mind is moving faster than the environment around me, and I have a feeling somebody put me on cruise control not being able to turn it off.

What to do, I feel I’m not getting connected here in Germany because it seems we’re moving in parallel worlds. It’s like when Ghandi said, “India is not ready for me.” Though, I don’t know whether Germany is not ready for me, or I’m not ready for Germany. Maybe I’m missing something; maybe I’m lacking the ability to put the synchronicity into a mental model that makes sense for my environment and for me.

Somebody, anybody help…

Welcome to our office...

2007-05-15T11:12:00.000+02:00

Take a look inside where all the work is happening...

A personal gift...

2007-05-15T10:41:00.000+02:00

A gift for the MC team of Germany 2006/07. Thanks for a wonderful time!!

My visual DNA...

2007-03-28T19:57:00.000+02:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

2006-10-25T21:04:00.000+02:00

Enchanted part III...

She just sounds so awefully pure and wonderful live...

2006-10-24T17:08:00.000+02:00

Enchanted part II...

A beautiful cover of Queen's "One Year of Love", even Brian May was blown of his feet...

2006-10-24T15:12:00.000+02:00

Enchanted...

A beautiful singer/songwriter, Stevie Ann is the a huge talent. Just listen to the wonderful voice and get enchanted...

Thoughts of the moment...

2006-10-21T16:59:00.000+02:00

A (wo)man would do well to carry a pencil in his pocket and write down the thoughts of the moment.

Those that come unsought are commonly the most valuable and should be secured because they seldom return.

Happy train moments...

2006-10-21T16:55:00.000+02:00

Funny, I always travel by train; well often so to speak, it’s convenient, especially since I have this free travel pass for Germany. Trains in Germany bring an additional advantage; they have power plugs so you can connect your laptop. Another great advantage coming from the German National Board of AIESEC is the UMTS card that comes with the job, giving you the possibility to have Internet access anywhere in Germany!!

Just a few weeks ago when I was traveling from Bonn to Brussels, I was working in the train and I noticed that some people were taking pictures of me with their mobile phones, I must have seen at least 2 girls/women taking pictures. I don’t know the reason, I didn’t even talk to them afterwards. I just remember one girl just taking a picture and smiling at me. Isn’t that beautiful… without knowing with what intentions she made pictures of me, without making any remark, she just smiled, an honest and sincere smile (not the smile where people try to hide their prejudices behind a fake emotion). It was surely the best moment of the day, seeing people sitting in trains living in their personal space that is bounded by their seat, this was refreshing.

How beautiful would it be if we could just engage in real honest and open dialogue? Imagine the time we lose on our way from point A to B, time we spend without talking, without noticing the differences we are surrounded by.

The perfect train would look like an open space, where people sit at small round tables. Coffee and tea is served for free as part of the service and people gather and talk. Hopefully I’ll be able to create something like that one day and give all travelers happy train moments…

The world we live in...

2006-09-23T09:12:00.000+02:00

We don’t really live in the world,

but in the conversations we have about the world
And over that we have absolute, omnipotent power
We have the opportunity to shape that conversation,
and in doing so,

shape the future

A random chat...

2006-09-23T09:11:00.000+02:00

hey Kevin, you're from Netherlands or you were born in Korea? I didn't get it
both
born in korea
raised in the netherlands, havind dutch citizenship
so your parents are both Korean?
dutch
i was adopted
oh ok, pretty young?
yep
i was 2 years old
no memories of korea
so you have never been there?
no ever since i got to the netherlands i haven't returned to korea
something i'll do someday
do you feel tightly linked with Korea? like you feel Korean?
i don't know
it'a good question
i feel connected somehow to asia
i'm not sure whether it feels the same for korea
i'll find out i guess, as i set foot in korea
it's funny
at ic, i feel so much more connected to the ap network as to the wena
well, it's natural... what you are is not only what you've lived, but where you come from in your past (i mean family history)... you will always feel that strong string
and yet, haven't found a way to somehow do something with it
my family is from 4 different places and I feel somehow connected to those places althought I feel strongly Colombian also... now I can imagine you being originally from Korea
maybe that you will realise going there.. you need to step on where it all began
yep, i'll see and feel it the day i return
for sure, do it... it will be great. When I went to England and Israel it felt really deep... I don't know if I am crazy but it felt like some part of me owned there (my family comes from england, turkey and jewish root, and colombian)..... I really recommend it
wow,
i guess it can do everything and anything with you
you feel it... that's why my family loves to keep traditions and it's kinda difficult and funny hehe.. we celebrate tons of things
that must be such a meaningcful experience being able to taste and feel a culture that close and that influential on you
yes definitively, and specially such different cultures...and in Colombia where every region is a f
different story
yeah, spain showed me that last year, how a country can be so divided in differences
uah! wanna go to Spain!
I swear I love that country..
you lucky bastard
you lived in Madrid eh?
yes
ole tío! really cool
it was definately something that has shaped me lately
Spain?
spain's been a defining part of my life
what was the most deeply definning part?
seeing the real me
discovering the real me
why did Spain did that on you?
something special?
because of the differences, the people, the divide
many reasons
was it you first living abroad experience?
no i lived in belgium as well
and i was reminded not being phyiscally dutch every day in my life
for good reasons and bad reasons
i guess somehow the netherlands have felt abroad as well, just didn't realise it until i lived in spain
mmmm in Spain I was also reminded a lot of times about being Colombian.. which I am proud of but many times it is difficult

Soul searching part two...

2006-09-23T09:08:00.000+02:00

Walking outside your physical you, feeling part of the air that you are walking in. Today’s been one of those days I just couldn’t get into myself, somehow I’ve been observing me.
Have you ever felt not existent to yourself? Words just slipping through, not exactly knowing the meaning nor impact it has, soul searching… Who am I, Dutch, Korean, a mix, nobody, somebody? Going back to Korea, someday setting foot on the country where I either could have lived now in what conditions, what will it change me as a person?

For many years, I never though of being or belonging to something else as “home”, but lately I can’t define home anymore. Lost in translation as the movie puts it, I don’t know what to say nor where to go, I can’t find a translation for it, the road though seems so simple and pointing me only to go there, find out explore, discover.

Soul searching...

2006-08-19T10:49:00.000+02:00

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are quite expressive and thoughtful. You see the world in a way that others are blind to.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself.

Your near future is likely to be filled with great successes and accomplishments. You just need to figure out how to get there.

For you, falling in love is all about flirting and feeling playful. You couldn't fall in love with someone who took life too seriously.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

2006-07-24T15:20:00.000+02:00

An Inconvenient Truth - Trailer

German Dutchie has arrived...

2006-06-01T21:26:00.000+02:00

So this is my first post being in Bonn, Germany. An historical moment... after all the sterotypes and football clashes, and jokes back and forth, a Dutch @er has joined the German MC :)
Last night I arrived in Bonn by train, 1.5 hour delayed. So far for German punktlichkeit LOL, well, the train was quite confortable and I was travelling in nice company (German and Canadian guy, and a Mexican couple), so it definately made up for the delay :)

When I arrived, all my team members were waiting for me :) that was sooooo cool. I actually didn't see them at first, so I already walked out of the station, but luckily they chased me and then I saw them running down the tunnel, with a big AIESEC banner! So cool.
We went for dinner in a restaurant to get to know the whole team better, and afterwards we went to the office to learn the MC roll call and off course champange to celebrate to completion of the team!!!

And now, I am in the office having had a short introduction into AIESEC Germany! And tomorrow... my first regional conference in Bielefeld :) I can't wait!!!!

Oh and for all Dutch people who wonder now what will happen with the upcoming World Cup, off course The Netherlands will win the cup by beating the German team in the final lol ;) haha. And might they not make it that far for some reason, I now can always cheer for Germany as well, alwasy good to have options :)

Rotterdam...

2006-06-01T21:15:00.000+02:00

This could be Rotterdam or anywhere... Last week I was visiting some friends in Rotterdam :) although the weather was not very cooperative, I still had a great time.
Visited an old friend from Maastricht, who is now working and studying in Rotterdam, stayed over the night and we just caught up with each other lives! I also could have joined the alumni meeting the weekend before, but in the end I decided not to. Usually it means having a lot of people in one room, and the longest conversation that you have is based on the question: "What do you do now?" By the time you explain for the 25th time that you're still in AIESEC, but abroad, you kinda get sick of it. No than I rather spend some quality time one on one, and talk about any random topic for as long as you want without being interrupted. And then, whenever the conversations ends, it ends...

Next day I visited the AI office, as I wanted to catch up with Veronica, and some other people. Also the leverage and expansion teams were there. It was cool, seeing lots of familiar faces, people you haven't seen in a long time. So I decided to stay over. besides, it was Nava his birthday they wanted to go out that night. It's cool, having lots of people around from different countries and different stories. I ended up in some interesting conversations and lots of fun :) The night ended in the Skihut where we sang and screamed the night away.

Rotterdam or anywhere was cool, you can say anywhere as you're surrounded by the world. Looking around you, you see people with different habits, cultures and stories, and it's those stories that make you feel alive. So powerful to share each other's stories. Rotterdam or anywhere, see you soon...

Johari...

2006-05-06T20:39:00.000+02:00

The Johari window is an interesting tool to get to better understand your interpersonal awareness. It might be a very interesting tool to find out more about yourself, things you didn't know before and maybe get some things confirmed.

So let's see what I still have to discover about myself :)

Just check the following link: http://kevan.org/johari?name=Kwansu

Personal discovery...

Power-With...

2006-05-06T17:42:00.001+02:00

Power-With…

During the last few weeks, I have had some serious problems with some people. I think the problems escalated because of failure to communicate. Taking into account that talking is not necessarily a conversation, I think there was never a meaningful conversation. Rather a waterfall of excuses, and everyone who has seen a powerful waterfall knows that it is very difficult to stop it from pouring water and going against the stream.

But my personality makes me try to swim against it. Some people call it stubborn, I don’t see it that way, I rather see it as making a decision and with that decision changing the destination of the ultimate goal. Because with every decision to act to achieve our initial goal, we change our goals (sounds contradicting?). Well look at it this way: whenever we set goals and based on those goals we decide to act, we make one step to achieve those goals. But as we achieve our initial goal, we have a starting point for new goals and objectives. Thus as soon as we make a decision to act, we already change our current goals and objectives for ones we ar not yet consciously aware of.

So, as soon as the problem occurred, I decided not to act according to expected behaviour instead I took the position of an equal in the situation. For me it would have been easy to accept the problem and try to get out of the situation as soon as possible. But I tried to ask questions, invite for conversations and look for either solutions or underlying reasons.

Just so it happened that today I was reading an article about the concept of Power-With. A concept that tells us that people who are dominated should try and seek ways to level even with the dominator and vica versa. In other words, not to accept Power-Over situations, but as soon as you feel that you’re in a Power-Less situation try and refuse that position, try to transform the situation and the other person until you are in a Power-With situation where both parties can speak on a normal basis where we actually try and find our full human potential. In any situation that is not Power-With there is an unbalance in the relationship and unbalance usually means obstruction of improvement, it creates a situation of power struggle. A person that is in a Power-Over position will find it very hard to maintain that position if approached by the Power-With position.

Just thought it was really interesting to find a theory that kind of describes how I like to go against the stream. Not accepting that Power-Over position of the other party but trying to converge and end up in a situation of Power-With. Now it seems that the problem is almost solved. Hopefully I can keep a balance in Power-With in future situations, I think I’ll dive into this issue to find some more useful information…

Meaningful…

2006-05-06T17:42:00.000+02:00

Meaningful…

So, back home in The Netherlands after an interesting week in Lithuania. Art of Hosting Meaningful conversations was the seminar I attended. In total only 16 delegates, but that was actually perfect, for once not too many people present so you can get that closer atmosphere. Besides the seminar was at the same time and place as the International Trainer Conference, in the beautiful small town called Druskininkai.

Nobody knew exactly what the seminar was about, so we were all kind of clueless about what to find, especially since the seminar only took three days and the agenda seemed so “light”. But nevertheless the seminar had something curious and intriguing about its content, it was in fact an experiment by Engage! InterAct since the content was normally not meant for young people but let’s say “business people”.

The seminar turned out to be very useful in many was. It covered some concepts we were already familiar with but it also spread some new light on existing knowledge and concepts as well. I was very satisfied that I applied for the seminar.

But the concept “meaningful conversations” for me already was something that I use frequently. AIESEC conferences usually for me don’t have any meaning just for the content itself. Take International Congress 2005 in India, the fact that it was in India and around 600 people form over 90 countries were there was more exciting than the agenda and the sessions. I can even say they were rather boring, and I don’t think that’ll change for International Congress 2006. The important impact, output, significance or meaning that IC had was purely based on the meaningful conversations I had. Conversations that started out of a random encounters, and could easily last till 6.00 in the morning. That to me is meaning, not the agenda itself. Outputs can always be found on the website, everything that we should know as delegate will be written in a document, but the conversations cannot. You cannot read back a conversation that you never had, it’s something that just happens on the spot, randomly, unexpected and with any person.

Art of Hosting was the same. Soon we will get a CD with outputs, great, useful and I’ll definitely have a look at it. But the conversations I had with some people, people I didn’t know, never met before and I did not plan to have a conversation with, they are meaningful. Random conversations, random topics, random moments, random people.

Now even when the conference is over, the conversations continue with some of them. Some conversations have become a relationship in terms of me being a mentor for some, and others are still ongoing, because there was never an end.

So now I’m looking forward to some post-conferencing, endless conversations, randomly starting with the virtual communication channels we have. And who knows, maybe we can continue them physically at some other random conference.

Random meaning everywhere…

Can't sleep...

2006-03-27T05:31:00.000+02:00

It's 4.37 in the morning, I can't sleep, a problem that I've taken with me from Spain I guess. During the last few months I've barely slept "regular hours", instead my whole rhythm just moved a couple of hours forward. Anyways, now I'm just one of those people who doesn't know what to do and thus is surfing the internet for some news and reflecting on things that occurred lately.

Isn't it funny, how in AIESEC we always tell ourselves that we should work for our identity, for our vision, for what we've been doing for so many years now. Well ironically that’s a big lie, since AIESEC hasn’t always been that “fair” as it actually started as something quite elite, discriminating between Europe (West) and the rest of the world. Luckily we could let go of that box thinking and we have been growing and expanding throughout the years. But it’s interesting to look back at the impact we actually had in the past or recent history.

I was partly surprised by the recent news in Spain concerning the cease fire by the ETA. According to the news, they haven’t killed people in the last two years. And now they’ve announced a cease fire. The current government is willing to talk, and now all the eyes are on the ETA and Zapatero. Maybe, who knows in the near future it’ll be possible to get both parties around the table and start peaceful conversations about the problems that Spain has been facing for many years. I’d like to think it’s what AIESEC Spain has been working for as well, although sometimes difficult knowing the current reality of the country. Getting together people from different regions is difficult. Getting them to work with each other is more difficult. But getting them to respect each other is the biggest challenge.

Now the recent elections in Ukraine. After the “Orange Revolution” last year, now the country is again voting for new leadership, but democratically. The big question now concerning many people is what will happen after the elections. It’s so interesting to follow that, even though I’m so not aware of everything and the details. But again, it’s part of what we try to do in AIESEC, at least in my opinion.

Peace and fulfilment has a different meaning for people. For me, AIESEC is not only about world peace (what once was the underlying though of many, and still is). It’s not only about bringing cultures closer. To me it is bigger than that. What would peace mean for somebody who has been living in a dictatorship for over 20 years? Or for somebody living in a country where the government censors media? Or for somebody living in a country that has been torn by internal conflict and now there’s nothing that s/he can fall back on, no education, no social system nothing…

Now in Israel, there are so many young people, “our generation” who are not planning to go to the ballot boxes to vote for new leadership. They say it doesn’t make a difference, because there are no competent candidates. Such a shame, they’ve got so many opportunities but don’t see it or don’t have confidence in a handful of people. In my own country children of 13 years old are making videos of people fighting and publishing them on the internet. The only thing that first year students are thinking about is joining a fraternity/sorority to make friends and get drunk. And they actually think that will help them build their CV. The can’t even rely on their personal capacity of finding good friends and actually doing something relevant while they are studying, they think the first thing they need for that is a brotherhood of “fake” friends.

Yeah, there is definitely a need for AIESEC, and there will always be. And that pops up an important question: Do I still want to be part of AIESEC in the year 2006/2007, or better said, does AIESEC still want me?

I always thought I would stay in AIESEC for many years, which is surprising for a Dutch AIESECer (you probably all know the mentality of Dutch AIESECers, and I’m not particularly proud of some part of that). But lately I don’t know anymore. Finished my term in Spain before the end, got rejected by HK, don’t exactly have the profile for being AIER team, and applying for a leverage country or initiative country sounds great but I guess I don’t exactly have the right references to be elected, same goes for the WENA board. And well what’s left next year a part from that? Not much, most countries have elected the new leadership teams. Most probable seems to be the option of going back to university, and finishing my career although this year’s MC term has cost me dearly, since the university took two years of study away from me by claiming that they’ve become “invalid”.

Anyways, still some time to think, at least until the 15th of April since that is the last application deadline for the current options. I’m curious how next year will look like, guess life sometimes is like a box of chocolates and you don’t always know what you will get. So who knows…

Yesterday is history
Today is a gift
Tomorrow is a mystery

Passion...

2006-03-17T16:48:00.000+01:00

Back home in The Netherlands, my adventure in Spain has ended! Although not finished as I thought it would, it has been remarkably strange. Going there trying to change an entire culture which in the end off course never was a success neither should you change a culture, as it is something of the people. In the end I just wanted to change the mindset or passion of the people, however, that to was too overly optimisitic. Over time I lost a lot of things, money, friends, time, motivation, more money, more friends and more time. Strange enough, one thing despite all the losses increased, I became more passionate about what I hope I have done in and hope to be doing in the future...

AIESEC is fantastic, once you really see the contribution and development of people around you on a personal and professional level, that's the biggest reward for the work we are doing. I've seen people grow, I've seen people challenge their existing worldviews, I've seen many things.

And I was so ignorant when I arrived in Spain, now more than a year later it got me. My mistakes, failures, weaknesses, all have been subject to change for the better or worse, it has changed. If I have become a better person, well that's not for me to judge I guess, but by the people around me. I tend to believe that my presence in Spain has not been for nothing, I hope to believe there is a legacy that I left behind.

You should leave footprints in the heart of other people, and you should seek those breathtaking moments whatever that may be for any person.

Now you tell me, did I leave footprints for you, was I part of breathtaking moments that were lived during the last year in Spain? I hope so, I want to believe I did, and I will do so in the future...

Back home...

2006-03-12T21:18:00.000+01:00

Only three days left before I'm going back home.

How would it be to be living back home again. I have at least three months to relax, do nothing, visit friends, reflect, and go to ITC 2006 :)

Anyways, in a few days enough time to think! See you in The Netherlands...

Hong Kong...

2006-03-12T20:58:00.000+01:00

I remember the first scene from "Match Point" where Chris Wilton talkes about luck, and how sometimes the ball touches the net and in a split second it can either fall on both sides of the net. People underestimate the presence of luck in life.

Maybe that's what happened, or maybe not. Truth is I lost the HK elections by one vote 66.3% and I needed 66.7, what a complete disillusion. How one vote can change your life, it would be the difference in preparing for a year Hong Kong or sitting back home in boring Netherlands.

Luck... or is it that I wasn't convincing enough. Either way, life is characterised by ups and downs. Life wouldn't be as sweet without the bitter. Although at times you would prefer only to have the sweet.

Well, now it's back to The Netherlands and reflect on my future... H4TF???

The good thing is, I have time hmmm plenty of time to reflect. And some people from the HK MC are telling me to reapply since the results have been really supporting. Anways, it's enough for now to sit back and think about what drives me. Since HK was the only choice I made and I completely went for it, it was all of my passion and effort. One country...

H4TF to HK, who knows...

I Don't Want to Be...

2006-03-04T20:59:00.000+01:00

I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be
I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by an identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think about me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone's attention please?
If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation - made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I'm trying to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be

Cookie Jar...

2006-02-27T13:57:00.000+01:00

I would turn on the TV but it's so embarrasing

To see all the other people I don't know that they mean

It was magic at first when they spoke without sound

And now this world is gonna hurt you better turn that thing down

Turn it around

"It wasn't me", says the boy with the gun

"Sure I pulled the trigger but it needed to be done

Cause life's been killing me ever since it begun

You cant blame me cause I'm too young"

"You can't blame me sure the killer was my son

But I didn't teach him to pull the trigger of the gun

It's the killer on this TV screen

You cant blame me its those images he seen

Well "You can't blame me", says the media man

Well "I wasn't the one who came up with the plan

I just point my camera at what the people want to see

Man it's a two way mirror and you cant blame me"

"You can't blame me", says the singer of the song

Or the maker of the movie which he based his life on

"It's only entertainment and as anyone can see

The smoke machines and makeup

Hey you cant fool me

"It was you it was me it was every man

We've all got the blood on our hands

We only receive what we demand

And if we want hell then hells what well have

And I would turn on the TV

But its so embarrasing

To see all the other people

I don't even know that they mean

And it was magic at first

But it let everyone down

And now this world is gonna hurt

You better turn it around

Turn it around

Gone...

2006-02-27T13:34:00.000+01:00

Look at all those fancy clothes,

But these could keep us warm just like those.

And what about your soul? Is it cold?

Is it straight from the mold, and ready to be sold?

And cars and phones and diamond rings,

Bling, bling, because those are only removable things.

And what about your mind? Does it shine?

Are there things that concern you, more than your time?

Gone, going.

Gone, everything.

Gone, don’t give a damn.

Gone, be the birds, when they don’t wanna sing.

Gone, people, all awkward with their things,

Gone.

Look at you, out to make a deal.

You try to be appealing, but you lose your appeal.

And what about those shoes you’re in today?

They’ll do no good, on the bridges you burnt along the way.

And you're willing to sell, anything?

Gone, with your head.

Leave your footprints,

And we’ll shame them with our words.

Gone, people, all careless and consumed, gone

Gone, goin,

Gone, everything.

Gone, don’t give a damn.

Gone, be the birds, if they don’t wanna sing.

Gone, people, all awkward with their things,

Gone.

Jack Johnson...

2006-02-27T13:21:00.000+01:00

Listening to Jack Johnson a lot lately. I love his songs, beautiful sober and great lyrics. The songs reflect what I'm thinking and how I feel these days...

Flake

I know she said it's alright

But you can make it up next time

I know she knows it's not right

There ain't no use in lying

Maybe she thinks I know something

Maybe maybe she thinks its fine

Maybe she knows something I don't

I'm so, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying

It seems to me that maybe

It pretty much always means no

So don't tell me you might just let it go

And often times we're lazy

It seems to stand in my way

Cause no one no not no one

Likes to be let down

I know she loves the sunrise

No longer sees it with her sleeping eyes

And I know that when she said she's gonna try

Well it might not work because of other ties and

I know she usually has some other ties

And I wouldn't want to break 'em, nah, I wouldn't want to break 'em

Maybe she'll help me to untie this but

Until then well, I'm gonna have to lie too

It seems to me that maybe

It pretty much always means no

So don't tell me you might just let it go

And often times we're lazy

It seems to stand in my way

Cause no one no not no one

Likes to be let down

It seems to me that maybe

It pretty much always means no

So don't tell me you might just let it go

The harder that you try baby, the further you'll fall

Even with all the money in the whole wide world

Please please please don't pass me

Please please please don't pass me by

Everything you know about me now baby you gonna have to change

You gonna have to call it by a brand new name

Please please please don't drag me

Please please please don't drag me down

Just like a tree down by the water baby I shall not move

Even after all the silly things you do

Please please please don't drag me

Please please please don't drag me down

Valentines day one year ago...

2006-02-14T13:58:00.000+01:00

This morning at 10.00 am, last year I arrived in Madrid :) One year ago, well actually yesterday was my one year anniversary! Funny, as I never wouldhave guessed to be in Spain for one year. Strange feeling though, living here for one year now and still not sure how I have to behave in a way that the Spanish people understand me. I guess this is also a never ending journey, every day I am searching, looking, seeing and discovering new things about my team, the country, city and myself. Another country where I have lived for more than a year. After South Corea, The Netherlands, Belgium, The Netherlands again, and now Spain. Maybe next year another country, that would be awesome.

So what can I say about Madrid... It's an interesting city, actually I consider it like a small city or village. Everything is in the center, office, appartment and life. I invite you to find out for yourself, Madrid, and Spanish culture has many interesting things to offer!

See ya in Madrid...

Future plans...

2006-02-12T21:17:00.000+01:00

February is definately the time that many people I know are looking for their next plan. It's so cool to see that so many people I have met in the last two years are now MCP, MCVP, MC international and some are applying for AI.

Congratulations to everybody! And for those I know that are still in the assessment, all the best and good luck!

See ya somewhere sometime some place!!

Personal coaching...

2006-02-12T21:06:00.000+01:00

Yeaaaah! Last week we finally started our personal coaching sessions with our national HR partner. A few months later than planned but well the first session (it took more than 6 hours!!) looks promising. Let's see how the progress will be over time...

New year, for what it's worth yeah right...

2006-02-09T01:40:00.000+01:00

Wow, this year must have been the worst start of any year ever! Haven't been this unlucky in ages and I always thought bad luck has been part of me since I was born. After a month I'm actually in the state where nothing surprises me anymore, and the only thing I think is "well it can't be that bad as I'm still living!". If 2006 does not improve soon, I think this must be one of those years that it's better not to do too much.

It all started after new year, when Victor and I wanted to travel around Spain (since we both internationals on the Spanish MC haven't been travelling much this year). Anywas, we couldn't as it appeared that the girl's bathroom floor was about to collapse. The neighbour downstairs brought the alarming news. Suddenly all our plans down the drain. At that time I was still able to laugh, since we have two bathrooms, nothing's wrong yet.

One week later, the ceiling in the corridor comes down, since everybody was working in the office, no one got hurt. The mess was incredible, with the celing all the dust came down as well. After staying in a hostal for a few days, we could go back since they stabilised the house. Not only the ceiling in the corridor was dangerous, also the ceiling in the kitchen, men's bathroom, and one bedroom was about to come down. Latest news is that the construction will only start in weeks!! Anyways, still laughing, I'm still standing and we are able to live in our house.

Last week I went back to The Netherlands, some problems with my room and I was invited to facilitate during NATCO II in Utrecht. I actually got the best reverse culture schock upon arrival. I got robbed, lost everything! Still laughing, couldn't do anything else at that time, it already happened. Had to request a new passport, the town council made mistake and my request took longer than the usual process. And if that's not enough, I found out that my sweet former flat mates fucked me and I got some major bills, I need to pay and try to get the money back somehow. Now I'm actually at the point of losing hope in humankind...

And then, the application for MC in Hong Kong, it almost went wrong as I sent my application to three persons, and nobody received anything although I got confirmations.

One month, and it already was worse than all bad things of last year and the years before. I wonder what awaits me for the rest of the 11 months to follow?

Life sucks at times, but still laughing (at least sometimes)...

New year, for what it's worth...

2006-01-06T22:23:00.000+01:00

Another year has finished… 2005 is history, welcome 2006 and all the years that are still to come. One year full of surprises and many emotions indescribable. As most people do after a year has finished, reflect back on that year and see what has happened, I’ll just give it a shot as well.

Never would I have guessed to still be in Spain at the end of 2005. Well change takes you places, and without it life would just be utterly dull and boring.

The year started off great with a 2-week vacation in Croatia!! Had an amazing reception by a friend and one aiesec member in Zagreb. Spent some amazing days in Zagreb, getting to know the city a little better after some days off walking around and catching up with my friend whom I met the year before in the summer while we both were following Spanish classes in Madrid.
Afterwards, I continued my trip in Split where I met up with some aiesecers whom I met during their national conference the month before. Again, the reception was amazingly hospitable and everything was organized up to the tour, clubbing and lunches and dinners. Got to know Split, which is an amazing city at the sea. It was lovely to smell the ocean and get a taste of the Mediterranean culture. The people definitely made that stay unforgettable, and after an emotional goodbye party I went back to Zagreb to catch my plane.

I couldn’t have started the year better, that trip changed something in my perception of people and gave me some better ideas what I wanted to do after my term would end as a LC member.

Back home it was finishing up the final things before leaving. Yeah, after 3,5 years studying in Maastricht it was time to head for another place. Finishing the final formalities, transition with the new aiesec members and the final goodbyes. Thank you Moni for making it an unforgettable goodbye, your speech, your conversations and your present will always be part of me, and have been the start of an amazing journey. Without you I would have never ended up where I am now, THANKS you mean the world to me!!

February 14, 2005, the day I left for Madrid, Spain. Erasmus was my destination, can tell many things about it but most of it is kind of reinforcing existing stereotypes about the Erasmus students and breaking others. Yes it is a lot of partying but as well a lot of studying. Anyways, a part from a little bit of traveling, my semester in Madrid was not that exciting.

More exciting has been the assessment for the MC of AIESEC Spain. In March we had a 4-day assessment test and afterwards I was one of the lucky ones who got elected. Really cool, it has definitely been the starting point of some amazing journeys and experiences.

So what can I say about working in Spain as a foreigner? Frustrating, mind nerving, challenging, learning, amazing, confronting, angry, happy, sad, busy, mind dazzling, change, developing, breathtaking, exploring, fantastic, unbelievable, growing, shit, endless discussions, nerving, fast, slow, crying, emotional, distance, divided, opportunities, impossible, possible, patience, and all the words I have forgotten.

Working as a foreigner in a country with locals is something so impacting that you can hardly imagine. Forget about living in a country, the real experience comes when you start working, interacting, discussing and building relations with local people! I can hardly describe how I have changed, well maybe I haven’t changed at all and I just like to see myself as being changed. Anyways, I did get to know myself better. I must have been the most stubborn, squared, self-assured, selfish person starting to work, which immediately from day one got me in endless discussions. I always though I was somebody who knew everything about cultural diversity, flexibility and adaptability, I must have been the biggest fool in the world. Came to Spain to change an entire culture, how foolish can one be... Didn’t even want to change myself!
Anyways, half a year later I’m still the same stubborn self-assured person the only difference with half a year ago is that I am aware of that. I got to know myself better than in the last 10 years. I got so many flaws and bit by bit I am working to improve them.
Definitely all the endless discussions and conversations about change, culture, impact have given me a different perspective on working abroad and cultural diversity. I probably will still have the same problems in any other country but at least I know it and to some extent know how to be flexible and adaptable (at least I hope so).

Traveling, another one of the amazing gifts that I received this year. Macedonia, India, Poland and Germany have been countries that thanks to AIESEC I visited. Three of them I never visited before, fantastic experience. Although, if you are aware of it, you see so many let’s say “negative” aspects while traveling, it definitely gives you another point of view, more food for thought. Poverty, richness, challenging worldview, people, buildings, landscape, infrastructure, politics, more people, they make it so special to be in other countries. You see, breath, feel, experience countries and it makes you critically look at your own country, it’s good sometimes to do that it makes you feel grateful, critical and challenge the standard common things in life.

People have been an interesting part of this first half a year! Met people, many people, and as always they walk in and out of your life. Luckily I met some people who left footprints in my heart as well, people I value highly. I don’t even need to see, speak or meet them regularly, but knowing how they have impacted me in a short time is enough. Those footprints are important. I don’t value people who walk in and out, I don’t mean anything to them, and they don’t mean anything to me. Random people, I had some great random conversations with some random people last few months, people who I will probably never see anymore and that doesn’t matter. The conversations will always be remembered. Looking forward meeting more people, looking forward to footprints to be more precise!!

So now it’s January 2006, a new year. Funny though that people value that so highly, why start with NYs resolutions on the 1st of January, why not start any random day with good intentions? NYE is such an overestimated day, and the worst thing is that people don’t see that. ANY day is special, ANY day is another day that we are able to do things, use the moment, experience and learn things from people. ANY day we should be using any way, being resolutions, impacting society, learning, personal development, doing things, traveling, LIVING!
Anyways, that’s just my humble opinion about NYE, it has always been a problem in my life, I can’t be tactful, I need and like to be direct. So whether you like or not, that has been my year, my opinion and me!

Catch ya some time around somewhere in this funny place that we call earth!

Warm water...

2005-12-04T20:30:00.000+01:00

Uffff , this weekend the boiler just broke down :( crisis!!!! Because off course in December with the weather being cold and wet nothing is better than a warm shower/bath and the heating on.
So there we were, cleaning the kitchen becasue of the water that came out of the boiler, and no warm water brrrrrrr.

Next morning... taking a deep breath and taking a shower. It must have been the quickest shower in my life, but at least it woke me up :)

Hehe, now the boiler is fixed again and we can have all the luxury of central heating and nice warm showers.

But actually it wasn't as bad as it sounded, because if you imagine that lots of people don't have warm water, or can't drink water from the tab, we are just damn lucky here!! So in the end I guess it was a good thing to happen, it puts you with both feet on the ground and makes you aware of the lucky situation that we are living in.

Escaping...

2005-12-04T20:21:00.000+01:00

Just got back from a walk through the city and talking to some of the LCPs that we have here. I realised that one of them reminds me so much of me, when I was member though. Always too busy and getting myself over my head into too many things. Never saying no and never taking time to relax and disconnect. Until off course one day you just have reached your limits.
This LCP is exactly the same, and I think as well getting to the point where everything might be too much. So we talked about disconnecting, taking a few days off and don't think of AIESEC or university and actually I came to the conclusion I should do the same. But off course always better said than done!!

Anyways, I can't wait until tomorrow hehehe, will get on a flight to Germany and at least can escape reality for a while. Nice to know that in a few days I have some days not to think of my responsibilites at home. Although I'll go to a conference I just love being away for a while.

I love travelling... you get to meet new people, places, cultures things and not the usual environment.

Simple things...

2005-12-04T20:17:00.000+01:00

I miss the simple things in life! Just haven't been myself lately. Last weekend was great, drinking coffee with some old friends from Maastricht in a loung bar here just reminds me of good old times. How that can cheer me up and give me time to recharge my batteries.

At times I miss Maastricht.

"Oh let's go back to the start."

Mentoring...

2005-12-04T20:05:00.000+01:00

Mentoring... so strange to be a "mentor" for somebody you don't even know that good! After talking to some @ers for a very short time, suddenly I am considered to be their mentor. I guess I start have to revise the mentoring plan as suddenly people start valuing me as a mentor.

I don't even feel like a mentor, short time in AIESEC, young and I am still not fluent in the language, as they come from different countries.

Don't have any idea how this will work out, but I guess another experience. Anyways, I am here and well ready to start the mentoring plan. Maybe I should start looking for my personal mentor...

Reflection…

2005-11-23T09:53:00.000+01:00

I like reflection, it keeps me on the ground and at the same time makes me see what I still can do with my life. Especially newie conferences are an amazing experience being an “oldie” Seeing the newies getting more and more motivated always reminds me of when I entered AIESEC… I started working, but never got to know @, at least not the fundamentals. The newies these days are a lot further. Sometimes I am jealous, I never got the chance to enter and see the basics, the core, never got that motivated by role models, and now… I need to be that role model for newies, difficult. It took me 1.5 year to find out what @ was about, or differently said, to find that role model for me, well maybe it was 1 year. Going to newie conferences these days, as facilitator or chair is challenging. Making sure that the new generation of @ers will start off with a role model, with lots of energy and motivation is definitely a challenge and one of the most satisfying roles that you can have. And afterwards mentoring to make sure that the new generation also will be retained. The newie conference in Poland has been the last big amazing experience, learned so much from the people and surely they will be able to teach me even more!
And now, with all the MC applications opening up, and AI as well there is a new challenge. Still haven’t made up my mind but definitely there are some great opportunities waiting for me! Next stop, WeGrow! I am looking forward what the delegates can teach me this time! Will see my best friend again… the one person who took care of me and made me pursue my dreams!
So many things to do, learn, and discover!
Yesterday is history, today is a gift, tomorrow is mystery!

LCC'05 Katowice...

2005-11-15T00:01:00.000+01:00

Hey AIESEC?!?! How do you feel?!?!

Hey everybody, after some complications (again) in Milan to catch my connection I did finally get to Madrid, and now back in the office. I had some time to reflect on the last 2 weeks in Katowice and just wanted to leave a message for all LCC delegates, OCs and FACIs.

You guys are amazing!! It has been a long time since I felt that home in a city that I never visited before, the way that you have treated me is the reason I’m still in AIESEC, that friendliness, genuine interest in other people, the reception and all the things you have given me (and not only referring to accommodation) that enriched my life.

Chairing LCC’05 has been an amazing experience, I have learned many things from all of you, and it has been a true pleasure and honor sharing experiences with you! You all have shown an incredible dedication, energy, motivation, active attitude, willingness to learn and a potential to elevate Katowice to a higher level.

So, now after the conference you have all entered a team, or maybe you’re in charge of that team. That’s an amazing achievement, and all of you should be proud of being where you are now! You have just entered a new chapter of your life, and that can either be leading a team, working as a member or working in the EB. But never forget the process of getting there. You all have made it out of many students at your university and are amongst a select group of people who can achieve, learn and experience something that is truly incredible.

Enjoy that experience; take the opportunities that you see and give this year your best. You will be amazed by your personal development, and the development of the people around you. Live the diversity that AIESEC offers you, open your sails and explore the world. The year will over before you know it.

I am looking forward visiting your beautiful country again and getting to know more about what it has to offer as I honestly have not explored Poland they way I should have. But don’t worry, be rest assured that I will come back and you can teach me even more about Katowice, Poland and even AIESEC.

I will never forget you guys, thanks for everything, thanks for showing me AIESEC and for giving me breathtaking moments I will never ever forget.

Love,

Kevin

msn: kwansu_groen@hotmail.com
PS: I would love to have the videos J
PPS: can you guys please make sure that the new members also get this mail as they might not have access to aiesec.net yet

Beautiful autumn...

2005-11-14T22:07:00.000+01:00

Aaaaaaaaaah I just love autumn, it just refreshes me. When I started travelling 2 months ago, everything was so beautiful! It’s so much more colourful than any other season. The trees look red, green, orange brown, purple and more different colours! Besides the fresh air, the cold wind, it makes me feel alive!
Autumn thanks for always cheering me up and feeling so energetic!

Future plans...

2005-11-12T20:32:00.000+01:00

Yeah I know I haven’t been posting any new messages on my blog. Been on the road a lot lately, traveling for 6 weeks, tiring but also satisfying as I had some time to reflect and also to experience some new things!
LC coaching visits were a great experience, trying to coach the people, give them advice and trying to advance the performance of the committee and people! But at times it’s so frustrating, seeing sometimes although you are trying to stimulate pro-activism and self-learning and still no results. No results in the last few years. How come? You’re trying to help them not by coaching the people but by actually performing the operative work for/with them although it’s not even my task…
Yeah, you learn from the negative and positive experiences, even more from those negative experiences!! Although it sucks, I got some quite clear ideas for what I want to do next year. I guess my future is not here in Spain… although I’m still thinking of applying for MCP at times but some things have really demotivated me to do so. So well, now it’s up to exploring other opportunities!
See ya around somewhere in the world :)!!!

Train conversations...

2005-10-21T00:25:00.000+02:00

Lately I've been traveling a lot by metro and train. Great way to meet people... or end up in some interesting conversations.
Last week when I came back from an AIESEC presentation at one of the universities here, I took the train to go back home and was talking to a friend of mine about the education system here in Spain. After a while a random person just entered the conversation and we ended up discussing the whole educational system here in Spain from ground school to university.
So why does this interest me so much? Well mainly because frankly speaking, the educational system kinda sucks here! In general students are so damn passive, they don't feel the need, see the use and are motivated to do anything besides going to class and obtain some stupid paper saying that they graduated in some study. Great, having a paper just to boost up your ego, confidence in getting a future job, but in he meantime, nothing learned. At least nothing useful! I might be offending people at this moment, and I apologise for that! But students in Spain are not even enouraged to be proactive. They go to class, professor talks, they take notes (or not) and go home. Day after day after day, for any years. In college it's not better either, the system is so passive, as if professors and teachers think that books and articles are enough to make it in life.
It's just so frustrating to see people throwing away valuable time they could use to learn valuable things, explore the world. Why stick to your little limited environment while you can explore the world? Why don't people see the use of doing something. Why only 30 people show up at an AIESEC presentation, while the entire student population is 15.000 ?

Why do universities, professors, college, tutors, schools, teachers not encourage proactivism? An entire generation that is not aware of their potential, of the opportunities that lie at their feet. Passiveness, unaware of the impact that natural disasters have in Guatamala, Paqistan, Mexico etc...

What can I do as AIESECer if the universities do not even support or encourage being a "leader" what kind of graduates are we delivering. Some days I just feel powerless here! In order to reach out, I need to change not only a culture but a whole educational system starting at elementary school!!!!

Great challenges, but where to start! What a shame... when will people at government agencies, insitutions finally get the message that we don't need straight A's, we need people who are proactive, aware and not caught up in their small little environment worried if they will have an 8. or 8.6 (scale 1 to 10) for their exam!

Random conversations...

2005-10-16T20:53:00.000+02:00

A black man walked into a cafe early one morning and noticed he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said: "Coloured people aren't allowed in here."

The black man turend around.

He then said:

"When I was born, I was Black.

When I grew up, I was Black.

When I'm sick, I'm Black.

When I go out in the sun, I'm Black.

When I'm cold, I'm Black.

When I die, I'll be Black.

"But you sir...

When you're born, you're Pink.

When you're sick, you're Green.

When you go out in the sun, you turn Red.

When you're cold, you turn Blue.

When you die, you turn Purple.

And you have the nerve to call me coloured."

The black man then sat down, and the white man walked away

Random thoughts...

2005-10-04T13:09:00.000+02:00

I think I need to get out for a while... seems I'm to caught up in work... It's fun though, but when do you know where you have crossed the line between responsibility (even though you enjoy the work you are doing) and true blessing and happiness?

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity."

Disconnected...

2005-10-04T13:00:00.000+02:00

Hmm, yesterday got back from our National Congress.

Realized that I really got disconnected from the world during the last 7 days. Now I'm reading the news, and so many things happened. Just feels a little bit weird being disconnected only a few days and missing out on so many important things! Sometimes it kind sucks being that occupied and cuaght up in all the work.
Tonight I'll leave Madrid and will be on the road for 3 weeks, visiting the local offices to help and support them (coaching). Don't have time enough but need to relax as well. Hope I won't be disconected from the world during these 3 weeks...

"Happiness is like a butterfly...if you run after it its bound to fly away...but if you sit still its going to enlighten upon you."

Technology...

2005-09-27T08:23:00.000+02:00

Some days ago I red an interesting article about technology and future cyber houses. Interesting, as it talked about the battle between "technology" and "feng shui"
Will we actually live in high tech cyber houses in many years from now. where everything can be activated by voice command, where you can program a house robot that will do the cooking, cleaning, and all other domestic activities. Sounds interesting and it might save a lot of time, but for what? Do we need robots to do all domestic activities because our lives are getting to busy, are we that tied up in our work? Does everything have to be actvated by voice command and do we want to live in houses where everything is organized and depends on technology?

I don't know where it will end, right now in Asia you can buy a house robot for a shit load of money. Does it really enhance our lives? Where is the "romance"?

We'll see where it will end up, but for now I'll agree with the opinion that "technology" will never win from so called "feng shui" Anyways, I'll just stick to the old -fashioned "romantic" hand writing (although email is convenient I have to admit)

Amazing song/speech...

2005-09-15T22:05:00.000+02:00

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 96...Wear sunscreen

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years youll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...Youre not as fat as you imagine.

Dont worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Dont be reckless with other peoples hearts, dont put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Dont waste your time on jealousy; sometimes youre ahead, sometimes youre behind...the race is long, and in the end its only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Dont feel guilty if you dont know what to do with your life...the most interesting people I know didnt know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still dont.

Get plenty of calcium

Be kind to your knees, youll miss them when theyre gone.

Maybe youll marry, maybe you wont, maybe youll have children, maybe you wont, maybe youll divorce at 40, maybe youll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...what ever you do, dont congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your choices are half chance, so are everybody elses.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can...dont be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, its the greatest instrument youll ever own.

Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you dont follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, youll never know when theyll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, price will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do youll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Dont expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Dont mess too much with your hair, or by the time its 40, it will look 85.

Be careful who advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

Random quote...

2005-09-15T22:01:00.000+02:00

"A man would do well to carry a pencil in his pocket, and write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought are commonly the most valuable, and should be secured, because they seldom return."

Discussions...

2005-09-14T22:20:00.000+02:00

Today I ended up in another endless discussion. Discussions are not bad if they are constructive and leave room for interpretation. However, I strongly have the feeling that for reasons, I always end up in destructive discussions... they never end up in a good atmosphere.
Afterwards, I never have something to talk about with those people, relationships seem to stand still in time and not really progressing in any way since the start.

Is it just my personal attitude that causes all this? Cultural differences and shocks are normal when working in a foreign country but at some point you do need to find some common ground to start from. Always being on the other side of the road is just demotivating.

Which made me think of someting else. If our work is to develop individuals, having a positive impact on our society, developing future leaders who provide positive leadership, what are we actually achieving? Are we actually delivering what we promise. We are all so tide up in doing our job and making sure that we at least fulfil our responsibilities. But what about that positive impact, cultural understanding, positive leadership?

Are we measuring what impact our alumni really have. What are our alumni doing with their power/influence once they become CEO in a SME or multinational. Are we that cultural sensitive/aware? Who of our members are actually working abroad and really experiencing different cultures. Spending some time with people from other countries is one thing, working with them full-time is completely different.

The fact that there still exists racism, war and other social/cultural issues is a reason for us to work even harder to make a change. But let's not get to tide up in doing just our job but let's see what we really are achieving in our communities. How our work/values/attitudes/beliefs impact our environment, the people with whom we work...

The hardest part...

2005-09-14T21:15:00.000+02:00

And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part

Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing was waiting for that bell to ring

It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down

Bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth

Silver lining the cloud

Oh and I,

I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part

You really broke my heart

And I tried to sing but I couldn’t think of anything

And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down

You left the sweetest taste in my mouth

You're a silver lining the clouds

Oh and I

I wonder what it’s all about

Everything I know is wrong

Everything I do, it's just comes undone

And everything is torn apart

Oh and it’s the hardest part

That’s the hardest part

Yeah that’s the hardest part

That’s the hardest part

Coldplay - The hardest part

Random thoughts...

2005-09-13T19:40:00.000+02:00

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal
sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd"

Just an amazing frase, can read it a million times...

Random thoughts...

2005-09-13T19:33:00.000+02:00

People,
amazing creatures...

touching, to be touched, memories, old friends, sharing not thinking, enjoying every second, really living, feeling life

Excitement... reality such a contradiction

"Love to live, live to love"

Doubts...

2005-09-13T19:19:00.000+02:00

Why do I always have doubts when I am working back home? Don't I trust the environment or the people or the work I am doing? Why am I always thinking about the next steps, looking forward to changes and new challenges and not to the current situation I am in? I can't wait to continue with the next chapter in my life but I still have to finish the first one...

Difficult to understand, what is it that keeps me from fully experiencing and enjoying the current phase in my life. What is it that inspires me... or what does inspire other people. How is it possible that I can motivate and inspire others while at the same time I lack so many things... Why can't I be so much more complete, a better person... Am I changing things here, do I really have a positive impact on the people?

"He who loses money loses a lot, he who loses a friend loses even more, but he who loses faith loses all."

Although it's hard to always believe in yourself, let's hold on to that thought...

Taj

2005-09-12T22:27:00.000+02:00

Great place to sit down and reflect, think, dream away or just enjoy how beautiful life can be...

Random thoughts...

2005-09-12T22:23:00.000+02:00

"The gunfire around us makes it hard to hear; but the human voice is different from other sounds. It can be heard over noises that bury everything else, even when it's not shouting, even when it's just a whisper. Even the lowest whisper can be heard over armies when it's telling the truth."

I'd like to believe in this frase, the truth is such a strong powerful tool...

Passion...

2005-09-12T22:15:00.000+02:00

Interesting how some people will always fight for something that might seem impossible. Kinda like fighting for that impossible dream. Although it seems so useless at times, swimming against the stream. But at the same time it distiguishes them from the rest, making a fist, questioning the things we are taking for granted, breaking down exisiting barriers.

Inspiring how some people will hold on to that dream and fight for it with all their passion! Talking with these individuals gives me strength to fight for the things that I hold dearly... it gives more food for thought, more reasons for reflecting my own position and beliefs.

Passion will determine our success, let us never lose that passion!

Faces...

2005-09-10T20:34:00.000+02:00

Faces, pictures, images, thoughts, ideas...

So amazing how you can read the history, pain, experience and many more things from somebody's face. Eyes tell you everything amazing how they speak the truth.

Passion, fire, pain just a few emotions... different ways of expressing feelings but in the end all tell you the same thing.

Looking in your eyes just makes me feel amazing, reading your history seeing the fire and feeling your passion!

Strange...

2005-09-09T19:18:00.000+02:00

International Congress 2005, Agra-India...

...what can I say... for sure an impactful experience in many ways! However I couldn't help thinking of a few ideas after some really amazing conversations with some individuals.

As an international board member you're always the outsider, you always have to perform better than any other local. This is nothing bad, it actually gives you an amazing challenge.
However the one thing that I started questioning is the fact whether I am still the AIESECer that I used to be when I was still working on local level...

I always thought that I was a great AIESECer, open-minded, cultural sensitive, reflective, yeah I was the best. Always there for any trainee, member or the LC in general. And then I started working for a foreign national board... suddenly your whole world changes.
Shock after shock, surprise after surprise, up to the moment that you actually start questioning your own abilities. Are you actually that open-minded, or cultural sensitive, or the AIESECer you thought to be?

Difficult... questions, thoughts, reflections too many things to think about! So many emotions and contradicting ideas... What to do? Where do I get the motivation from? What is my personal drive that still makes me continue with what I do?

Although so many thoughts and ideas, I did find the answer to one of the question at IC in India...

My passion and personal drive is still meeting those individuals that just catch my interest, those people with whom I can talk for hours and hours and never get bored. People who challenge my worldview, who break down barriers inside me. People who I start loving even though I got to know them only for a few days. People who are out of sight but never out of your heart.

"Many people will walk into your life, only true friends will leave footprints in your heart"

Thank you...

Moments...

2005-09-09T17:38:00.000+02:00

A very special person once told me "Life is not about the amount of breaths you take, but about the moments that take our breath away"

Ever since I'm looking for these moments and paying more attention to what really touches me deeply. The past few weeks in India have been amazing, strange, challenging and many more things.

But some breath taking moments surely became part of me and will always remain.

Thanks for these moments...*

*you know who were responsible for those moments...

Love you more

2005-09-09T16:52:00.000+02:00

Clouds above go sailing by
I found my meaning in this life
Clear white is flying in my eyes,
underneath a blue, blue sky
The waves come rolling in with the tide.
I’ve been away too long
And every day I missed you more.
You look like you did before,
only prettier.
Every day I love you more.

All the people rushing by, by, by
Looking for meaning in this life
So used up, and blinded by lies,
they’re underneath the blue, blue sky
The way they seldom seem to smile,
I don’t know why.

‘Cause I’ve been away too long
and every day I missed you more.
You look like you did before,
only prettier
Every day I love you more
I love you more,
everyday I love you more,
and more

Cause I’ve been away too long
And every day I missed you more.
You look like you did before,
only prettier.
And every day I missed you more,
and more and more and more and more.
I’ve been away too long
And every day I missed you more.
Oh you look like you did before,
only prettier
Everyday I love you more.

I love you more.
Everyday I love you more